How Do I Tell My Spouse I Am being Accused of Criminal Sexual Conduct?
Criminal sexual conduct charges are perceived negatively globally. People tend to avoid those who’ve been accused of any sex crime because they don’t want to be perceived as supporters of sexual assault. So, when you are accused of criminal sexual conduct, it can be difficult to break the news to your spouse.
Whether or not you’re innocent, coming clean about it to someone you’ve been sharing a life with, someone who thought they knew you well, is never easy. But fret not because discussed herein are tips to help you break the news to them.
Telling My Spouse I’ve Been Accused of Criminal Sexual Conduct: How to Go about it
“Will they leave me?”, “Will they support me?”, “ Should I keep it a secret?” These are common questions that may run through your mind when you’re faced with such a challenging task of having to tell your spouse you are being accused of a sex crime/charged with a sex crime. Here are tips to make the process a tad easier:
Ensure They Hear it From You
Nothing is as heartbreaking as hearing negative news about someone very close to you from an external source. Even if you are innocent, if your spouse finds out you are being accused of criminal sexual conduct from someone else, what you tell them after will be completely worthless. They will feel bad because you kept them in the dark, yet you wake up next to them every day. Don’t let your spouse hear about your accusations from an outsider. As difficult as it is for you, break the news yourself.
Take Your Time to Prepare the Message
There’s nothing as hard and as uncomfortable as being the bearer of negative news. It is even harder when the message you want to pass across is about yourself, and it’s sexual. So, don’t just blurt out, “Hey, I’m being accused of sexual misconduct at work,” while having dinner. This will be a rude surprise and too much for one person to handle. Take time to prepare the message and remember to be sensitive and mindful of their feelings. Offer a clear account of the accusations and the incident behind them without using vague language.
Don’t Sugarcoat Things
As much as you are trying to break the news without making it too direct for your spouse, be careful, so you don’t sugarcoat things. When you sugarcoat such news, your spouse will sense you are preparing them for bad news, and as a result, their anxiety will only build up. As someone who shares life with you, they will know something is up from the word go. So, in as much as you are trying not to be too direct, avoid wrapping up your news about criminal sexual conduct accusations/charges with a pretty bow.
Be Mindful of the Setting
Being accused of criminal sexual conduct is not easy. You were probably shocked when you received such news. Now mix such accusations with feelings of betrayal. Tough, right? Well, that’s how your
spouse will feel. Before you break the news, be mindful of the setting. Don’t tell your spouse during brunch with friends and family. Do it from the confines of your home, with plenty of privacy and a lot of time. In other words, ensure you are in a safe and comfortable environment before you open up about your accusations.
Expect a Negative Reaction
A spouse is someone you plan to share life with or be with till the end of the road. They expect any sexual relations you have to be with them. So when they hear you have been accused of criminal sexual conduct/ charged with criminal sexual conduct in Michigan, they may not take it too well. Their first line of thought when they hear of such accusations, whether true or not, is to wonder why you felt the need to commit a sex crime when you have open and happy sexual relations with them.
They may also wonder how long you’ve been committing such crimes without the victim’s speaking up. In other words, your spouse may feel betrayed, and they may not take the news so well. In that light, you should not expect them to offer their support the moment you break such news. They may be angry, sad, and may even think of leaving you. All these emotions are perfectly valid, and you should brace yourself for them.
Accept their Decision
People react differently to the news of sex crimes. Some people often feel the need to stand on their own, while others choose to distance themselves. Although your spouse vowed to be there for you for better or worse, they are not obligated to support you when you’re facing such charges. As noted above, your spouse may feel betrayed and may decide to walk away. If that is the case, accept their decision and if you believe you are innocent, work with a criminal sexual conduct attorney to help you clear your name.
Even after you do clear your name, don’t hold grudges against your spouse for not supporting you through this hard time. You may have been innocent, but like you, your spouse is human, and their response to such accusations are justified. Be prepared for any response they might have without being defensive.
Work on Clearing Your Name Today
Being accused of criminal sexual conduct is hard enough. Having to break the news to friends is harder, and having to tell your spouse you’ve been accused of a sex crime is hardest. With the tips above, we hope it will be a tad easier. But while at it, keep in mind sex crimes are the worst kind of crime you can be charged with in Michigan. So, find yourself a reputable lawyer who focuses on criminal sexual conduct to help you clear your good name.
Attorney Nicole Blank Becker has been serving the Michigan area for twenty + years, quite a long time. She is well-versed with the ins and outs of the law specifically for criminal sexual conduct cases and will help make the process a lot easier.
Contact Blank Law office today for an obligation free consultation.